News Of The Night

The legendary Lady of the Lake has reportedly relocated across the pond, swapping her iconic Excalibur sword for a more modern arsenal of firearms, and she’s not shy about giving them away.

Known for her dramatic appearances in legendary tales, where she bestowed the mighty Excalibur upon King Arthur, the Lady of the Lake has surfaced in the United States. She’s armed with a new mission to distribute guns with the same enthusiasm she once lent to legendary swords.

“I figured, swords are so last millennium. America loves firepower, so why not spice things up a bit?” she exclaimed with a twinkle in her eye, as she distributed semi-automatic pistols from the shores of a picturesque lake in Arkansas.

Many people, initially perplexed by the sudden appearance of a medieval figure handing out firearms, soon embraced the Lady’s unconventional approach to armament. One bewildered recipient commented, “I came for a tranquil day by the lake, and now I’ve got a pistol and a strong urge to take up a quest. Not your average Sunday!”

Law enforcement and gun control advocates, however, remain skeptical of the Lady’s unusual endeavor. One local sheriff, William LeMaster, remarked, “We appreciate the historical flair, but we have laws about firearm distribution. We might need to have a talk with her about background checks and permits.”

As the Lady of the Lake continues her unconventional mission, America finds itself caught between the mystique of ancient legends and the stark reality of modern gun regulations. In the meantime, we’re hoping she makes a nearby appearance and hooks us up with that awesome .45 we’ve been wanting.